I got my fill this week, eating much less, I am trying to figure out if the tightness of teh band is appropriate for me at this point, since I have gotten sooooo far away from how I was in the beginning, I have to retrian myself to eat this small again..It's always a retraining process, ALWAYS...
I weighed myself today and I lost 5.2 LBS (2.36 kg) this week for a total loss of 83.2 pounds (37.83 KG) LOST in 68 weeks. In case you are wonderng why the total weight loss hasn't moved much, it is very simple, I LIED LAST WEEK! I was morified that instead of actually gaining 3 pounds last week, I actually gained 9! I do not know what exactly is wrong with with me that when I have such a huge pitfall I cannot be honest. I really have an issue. So I have decided to fix that and here is how I have proposed to do so. I am finally going to reveal it, I am going to face my weight. I always said I would NEVER reveal how much I weighed, but I am prepared to do it now. When I started last year, the morning of my weigh in I was 376.6 pounds (170.82 KG)...My weight this morning was 293.4 (133.08 kg) The reason I think revealing this "magic number" is that I have been HIDING my entire life and it is time to stop hiding... Now that I have my fill, I feel like I am in a good place and I plan on returning to the gym as soon as I get my clearance which is actually happening today!
Now for some POSITIVES, I went to the movies and I was able to sit in the middle of the row with no issues. I am wearing a size 18/20 which I have not worn since freshamn year of high school. I also met a friend that I have not seen in over a year and she said I looked spectacular. I am looking forward to the next few weeks as my eating is certainly at the place it was immediately following surgery. I think what happened was that I let too much time pass between fills...I am not going to let this happen again and I hope that by making this big reveal, it will somehow take the shame away...Looking forward to your comments, either on here or through text etc.
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You are awesome! At first you made me chuckle with your "confession", but then I wanted to give you a big hug and a high five! Somehow this seems like you are taking control of your life by laying it all out there. That's amazing!
ReplyDeleteRachel
Good for you being honest .... with everything Kel. That took a LOT of bravery!
ReplyDeleteYou know how I feel about nutrition. I want you to fully GET ON IT! Even the thinnest and fittest of people HAVE to think about food, and plan and prepare!!
VERY proud of you!