:(

I am really a complete combination of PISSED and really depressed this morning.  I weighed myself and I stayed the same..to the 10th of an ounce! This bothers me greatly because I ADDED 2 workouts this week, and I did not ENJOY my Memorial Day weekend to the extent that I could have...I said no to MANY delicious treats this weekend so when I stepped on the scale, I felt like throwing it out the window!! My surgery is 4 weeks from this Friday and although my doctor said I am at an appropriate weight for the surgery, I have my own personal goal that I would like to meet and I am getting discouraged. I know it doesn't take much to discourage me, or turn my mind set to the negative, it is the truth. I wish I was not so easily tilted in that negative direction, but I am...It could be my upbringing or just personality and circumstances..not sure, no need to diagnose the whys but I was just making a point. I really want to lose at least 5 more pounds by the surgery...I do not want to do it incorrectly, no fasting, cleanses etc..I want these 5 pounds to come off through clean eating and exercise...SO I am off to work and I could really use some encouragement this morning so POST A COMMENT or send me a private message...but I need them this morning, thanks for reading!

Finally have access to my computer to BLOG!

It has been a while since I have been able to pen some of my thoughts because my computer was indisposed and i could not write a post from my phone. Anyway, lots of stuff happening. My surgery is 5 weeks and I am PETRIFIED, I feel like something bad is going to happen and I might not wake up or I will be in such horrific pain afterwards that I am not going to be able to make it.  I also try to focus on the positive and how AMAZING I am going to look afterwards that I get excited for this new chapter in my life. The surgery is super expensive and essentially I have used any money that I was going to use to buy a new car for this. So that means my 2003 Altima will have to get me 5 more good years before she is replaced! My surgery is the day after school ends and I will essentially be out of commission through August.  I will not be able to exercise for a while and I get sooooo sad thinking about all my friends from the gym that have played such an integral role in this journey, my spin teacher, boot camp instructor, all have been soooo important in this journey and a part of my life for soooo long that not being able to go to the gym actually hurts! It might sound weird to some of you, but it is very true...Anyway, enough about that! OH I almost forgot, I weighed myself today and I LOST 4 pounds (1.81 kg), that is period weight plus a little extra...I am very excited as this is the THINNEST I have EVER been...I just am sooo excited to be able to enter ONEDERLAND (You know a weight with a 1 as the first number!) I cant wait to embark on this next phase of this journey that it is actually killing me! I hope you join me, as I will be blogging from the hospital post surgery and I will include you all in on my progress...Anyway, thanks for reading!