Climbing To The Top!

I weighed myself this week and I LOST 2.4 pounds (1.09 kilograms). I have lost a total of 53.2 pounds (24.13kilograms) in 22 weeks. Needless to say, I am very very happy. This week was quite eventful as Frank and I were a part of history in the making, going down to Washington, DC and attending the Restoring honor Rally at the National Mall along with what is estimated to be between 400,000 to 600,000 people! One thing that I took away from that event is that Glenn Beck said DEMAND TRUTH from yourself before you can demand it from other people! WOW, talk about a call to living your best life, and not the way Oprah describes it, but a life filled with honor, integrity, character but above all LOVE FOR OTHER PEOPLE! So how does one apply the concept of demanding truth in the weight loss journey? Well I am soooo glad you asked! LOL I feel this has to do with getting to the roots of why food is your crutch, what exactly are you hoping that it will comfort?? In addition, when you are "dieting," (and I hate that word but hey, we all do it) are you being honest with what you are eating, exercising etc?? If you recall, many times when I gained or stayed the same, it was not until I self reflected AKA BEING HONEST with myself did I figure it out!

A few things that I noticed this week that I feel are TOTALLY worth sharing...I was able to clean out one garbage bag filled with clothes that were too big for me! I cannot express how awesome that feels! One of my friends actually told me that she can clearly see my knees, and at first I was like what are you talking about, and she said "well before there was no clear distinction!" At first, I was not sure what the hell kind of compliment that was but hey I will take it! Also, this is for the ladies, you know how you like to wear a hair tie on your wrist in case in teh heat you need to put your hair up?? Well My whole life, it would actually hurt to wear around my wrist because I would get that mark from the hair tie cutting off my circulation! I happened to notice this week that this no longer happens...I actually discovered this after I had slept with the hair tie on my wrist and did not even feel it!! That would have NEVER happened before...these little things, to me, are just soooooo amazing and I hope you can sense my excitement! I am sooo looking forward to the next few months, specifically shopping for a Christmas dress!

I put a picture of Mount Baker in Washington State on the top of this post for two reasons. Seven years ago, a friend and I actually traveled to Washington and climbed to the top...well, we drove 3/4's of the way up and then climbed the rest...I titled this entry "Climbing To The Top," because that is a goal that I have. I want to climb to the top of my life, and stop sitting in the valley saying "What if, what if I were thin..." and that involves letting go of all this pain that I have carried around for soooooo long. In doing so, I am becoming more free to express the true me, to live the life I have always dreamed of! Oh and I also plan on climbing Mount Baker without the assistance of a car! Anyway, Thanks for reading!

I DID IT!!!!

I weighed myself this week and I am ECSTATIC to say that my slump is OVER!!!! I LOST 2.4 pounds this week(1.09 kilograms). I have lost a total of 50.8 pounds (23.04 kilograms) in 21 weeks. I am sooooooo happy because with no job and losing my mom, not losing the weight I wanted in the last few weeks had me seriously considering the notion of playing in traffic or taking a long walk off of a short pier!

I have to say that this whole journey is really a process of self discovery. Every week, I need to analyze what I ate, why I ate it, and did I exercise etc?? It is absolutely amazing that no matter how much you exercise, it ALL comes down to what I am putting in my mouth. For me, eating is the ONLY thing that affects my progress. When I am in a slump, it is weird that at the moment, I NEVER recognize any errors in judgement but afterwards, after I reflect, I pick it out every time. Oftentimes these errors are not me going to McDonald's and stuffing myself with a 3,000 calorie binge as in the old days. To begin with, there is NO WAY, I could physically do that anymore, THANK JESUS, but I do not have a desire to do that anymore. However, eating a little too fast, not focusing on putting my fork down after each bite, not making "the best choice," (PROTEIN!) and other little things like that really can affect my results.

The one thing that I hope to conquer and I am soooo not there yet is to maintain my self worth and happiness regardless of what the scale says. This is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I have many blessings and people in my life who love me, however, I do not want my self worth to be solely dependent on losing this extra person I have been carrying around for so long. You heard it here first, this is just as IMPORTANT of a goal to me as is losing the weight. I know that happiness is a choice and true JOY comes from the Lord, and I am CERTAIN that my inability to love myself fully, regardless of what the scale says definitely affects how much love I allow myself to receive, whether it is from Frank, family, friends and above all The Lord. So this is what I have been pondering on this week. Thanks for reading!

OK STARTING TO GET PISSED!!!

I weighed myself this week and I have STAYED THE SAME FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????? I have lost total of 48.4 pounds (21.95 kilograms) in 20 weeks, which you all ALREADY KNOW!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR...I really do not get it, I am not cheating and I even upped my exercise, so something better break soon before I literally start playing in traffic! One friend says that working out one hour per day, four times per week is not enough! I have a really hard time believing this because, in my experience, it is ALWAYS the EATING!!! I recall on every diet program I have ever been on, it was always the eating that did it, I am exercising a lot, so I just do not get it..but if you agree with my friend, please let me know! Anyway, let's all pray that this breaks next week and I have a huge loss, that makes up for this two week slump! Thanks for reading.

HMMMMM

I weighed myself this week and I have STAYED THE SAME!!! I have lost total of 48.4 pounds (21.95 kilograms) in 19 weeks! Staying the same is not so bad when I had two GREAT weeks and I have come to figure out that when you look at the weight loss over several months, everything evens out and it is all good! I have to continue to focus on doing what is necessary and I will get there, I AM CERTAIN OF IT!!! Anyway, not much else to say, bit of an uneventful week...Thanks for reading!!

I AM ON A ROLL! NOT A KAISER!

I weighed myself this week and I have lost 2.3 pounds (1.04 kilograms) for a total of 48.4 pounds (21.95 kilograms) in 18 weeks! This success is attributed to my renewed focus that I discussed in my last post. I would like to say this loss came even though I had a wedding and a dinner party last week! I enjoyed myself at both events but worked the food into my daily intake and in the words of Sir Tim Gunn, "I MADE IT WORK!"

I went to get my nails done and noticed how I fit soooooo much more comfortable in both the manicure and pedicure chairs! Also, I am getting compliments and I am really encouraged...I am almost at my lowest weight in a decade! I also have to share the results of my latest measurements...Since the surgery, I have lost: .5 inches from my neck (1.27 cm); 1 inch from my arm (2.54 cm); 3.25 inches from my chest (8.26 cm); 4 inches from my waist (10.16 cm); 13 inches from my hips (33.02 cm); and 5.62 inches from my thighs (14.27 cm) I would say that is AWESOME!!!!

I am really looking forward to Christmas because I know that will be an unbelievable milestone...I LOVE YOU MOM AND MISS YOU EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY!!! Thanks for reading!!