I weighed myself this week and I am ECSTATIC to say that my slump is OVER!!!! I LOST 2.4 pounds this week(1.09 kilograms). I have lost a total of 50.8 pounds (23.04 kilograms) in 21 weeks. I am sooooooo happy because with no job and losing my mom, not losing the weight I wanted in the last few weeks had me seriously considering the notion of playing in traffic or taking a long walk off of a short pier!
I have to say that this whole journey is really a process of self discovery. Every week, I need to analyze what I ate, why I ate it, and did I exercise etc?? It is absolutely amazing that no matter how much you exercise, it ALL comes down to what I am putting in my mouth. For me, eating is the ONLY thing that affects my progress. When I am in a slump, it is weird that at the moment, I NEVER recognize any errors in judgement but afterwards, after I reflect, I pick it out every time. Oftentimes these errors are not me going to McDonald's and stuffing myself with a 3,000 calorie binge as in the old days. To begin with, there is NO WAY, I could physically do that anymore, THANK JESUS, but I do not have a desire to do that anymore. However, eating a little too fast, not focusing on putting my fork down after each bite, not making "the best choice," (PROTEIN!) and other little things like that really can affect my results.
The one thing that I hope to conquer and I am soooo not there yet is to maintain my self worth and happiness regardless of what the scale says. This is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I have many blessings and people in my life who love me, however, I do not want my self worth to be solely dependent on losing this extra person I have been carrying around for so long. You heard it here first, this is just as IMPORTANT of a goal to me as is losing the weight. I know that happiness is a choice and true JOY comes from the Lord, and I am CERTAIN that my inability to love myself fully, regardless of what the scale says definitely affects how much love I allow myself to receive, whether it is from Frank, family, friends and above all The Lord. So this is what I have been pondering on this week. Thanks for reading!
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This week Kel, you have rendered me speechless.
ReplyDeleteReally, I have no words. No thoughts. No comments..... except.. that through you and YOUR journey, I may find myself.
Raise your glass of water in a toast.. to your success thus far, your continued success and to realizing self worth and self acceptance.
<3