Very Interesting

So I weighed myself this week and I LOST 6.6 pounds (3 kg) and it was Christmas! My weight loss total is 111.6 pounds (50.62 KG). I was very very good, I did not "enjoy" the staff breakfast on Friday nor did I pig out on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day...I did not go to Spin last night but I am thinking of getting to the gym tonight, but this whole week is up in the air due to vacation..I am really really tired and I just want to vegitate. I sort of wish I was one of those people who like to move all day and just go, go, go but I am definitely NOT that person. I am thinking that this is partly the reason for my weight issues all of my life...perhaps? Anyway, hoping this week goes well...Pray for me, I have been real anxious a lot these days...

The good, the bad and the UGLY!!!

Well I am THOROUGHLY PISSED!!!! I weighed my food, I journaled, I ate my protein but THEN I got my period on Sunday and therefore I weighed myself this morning and I only LOST .4 pounds (.18 KG), I have lost a total of 105 pounds (47.63 KG) WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?? I mean I am used to the weight gain during my period in a normal week but I just was soooo good this week that I thought for sure there would be a better loss this week!!! I even SKIPPED my Christmas Work Party yesterday just so that I would have a better weigh in this morning and this is what happens, less than a pound?? I really cant take this, I need to go punch something! Now Christmas is here and I just don't know what to do! I would like to enjoy my holiday but it is clear that the way that I enjoy holiday's is just NOT GOING to be possible this year...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well on a FANTASTIC note, I have posted this picture so that those who read the blog but are not on Facebook could see...This was taken on Saturday and when I saw it I actually got tears in my eyes because I did not think it was me! You could actually see my shape and my hips and everything about it is AMAZING...So when I see this picture, i can see how far I have come on this journey..So in spite of this HORRENDOUS stretch of 3 weeks, I have to take one more step in the right direction, towards my goal, and that is what I am going to do...MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL, thanks for reading!

Beyond ASHAMED!

So I would like to start this week's entry with a confession: I AM A FAT BASTARD at heart! What does that mean, you ask?? That means my ENTIRE life has always been completely CONTROLLED by food! After the surgery, this control dwindled GREATLY...HOWEVER, as I am in the last tier (65 pounds from my goal) this whole process has gotten much, MUCH harder! I have to be EXTRA vigilant on making sure I am eating correctly, making the right choices and I really do not have much leeway at all! With that being said,, all this week at school, there were cookies, cupcakes, candy and each little bit, obviously just ADDS UP!!! Its not like I sat there and just ATE, but I took a bite here and a bite there....Oh and on Saturday at a church function they had a huge breakfast buffet and I had BACON, obviously a few too many!!! So that brings me to the following statement: I weighed myself and GAINED 3 POUNDS (1.36 Kg) for a total of 104.6 pounds (47.45 KG)!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH What am I doing? This weigh in is BEYOND a wake up call. I am getting back on the horse, AGAIN and hopefully I don't get flipped off AGAIN...Back to the basics this week, journaling, eating slow, protein and water..I am not ready to throw in the towel at this point...Huge challenges this week, at work I have the staff Christmas breakfast and the dinner party..NIGHTMARE!!!! ...That's all I have to say..Thanks for reading!

Dum da dum dum dummm!!!

I weighed myself today and I GAINED 1.4 pounds (.64 KG) for a total weigh loss of 107.6 pounds (48.81KG)I definitely KNEW that I was going to gain today but I was PRAYING it would not have been this much....I sort of had a love affair with some ice cream and cookies this week! What I don't get is even though I slipped up, I really tried to work it off at the gym AND I counted the calories and that slip up represented my lunch and dinner for that day, so WHY then, still the gain?? That's what I don't seem to understand...I am definitely upset about it but I am just moving forward because as we all know this is my journey and there are some bumps on the road along the way to my final goal...I am picking myself up off of the ground and taking a step for wad in the right direction...that's all I have to say...Thanks for reading

Oh and MY FAVORITE SPIN TEACHER IS BACK AT THE GYM....HOPEFULLY HE WILL KICK MY ASS ENOUGH OVER THIS WEEK TO MAKE A RECOVERY ON THE SCALE NEXT WEEK!!!