Beyond ASHAMED!

So I would like to start this week's entry with a confession: I AM A FAT BASTARD at heart! What does that mean, you ask?? That means my ENTIRE life has always been completely CONTROLLED by food! After the surgery, this control dwindled GREATLY...HOWEVER, as I am in the last tier (65 pounds from my goal) this whole process has gotten much, MUCH harder! I have to be EXTRA vigilant on making sure I am eating correctly, making the right choices and I really do not have much leeway at all! With that being said,, all this week at school, there were cookies, cupcakes, candy and each little bit, obviously just ADDS UP!!! Its not like I sat there and just ATE, but I took a bite here and a bite there....Oh and on Saturday at a church function they had a huge breakfast buffet and I had BACON, obviously a few too many!!! So that brings me to the following statement: I weighed myself and GAINED 3 POUNDS (1.36 Kg) for a total of 104.6 pounds (47.45 KG)!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH What am I doing? This weigh in is BEYOND a wake up call. I am getting back on the horse, AGAIN and hopefully I don't get flipped off AGAIN...Back to the basics this week, journaling, eating slow, protein and water..I am not ready to throw in the towel at this point...Huge challenges this week, at work I have the staff Christmas breakfast and the dinner party..NIGHTMARE!!!! ...That's all I have to say..Thanks for reading!