What a week!

I weighed myself today and I LOST 4.8 LBS (2.18 kg) this week for a total of 77.2 pounds(35.02 kilograms) LOST in 57 weeks. So this is the lightest I have been in at least 12 years...

My cousin Ricardo and his wife Esther came to visit from Venezuela this week and it was soooooo much fun. I spent the majority of each day with them and it was just a great week, way too short but a great week. We went to see Jersey Boys and I must say, those seats were still a tight squeeze! I told my cousin had I not lost 70+ pounds prior to that, it would have NEVER been possible....So I need to look on the bright side, although this may be harder than it sounds. Ricardo noticed the following: he said I beat myself up a lot...I know that I do and I know that I am CONSTANTLY criticizing everything about me..to the point that I make myself sick...I don't get it, I mean childhood stuff aside, I am 32 years old and I am sick of this having a hold on me. We were taking pictures and I really thought I would have looked better and I had each picture retaken sooooooooooooooooooooo many times! And even on the ones I posted, all I could see were my flaws, but I posted them anyway.

It was definitely an emotional time for me on sooo many levels. They were great, the bond that we share is very strong. I saw my mom a few times this week, in some of the words that Ricardo had said...sounded just like how my mom would say them. That part was hard but sweet at the same time...

My legs are KILLING ME! I mean I have been running with the trainer and I LOVE The feeling, but seriously my knees, shins, ankles are KILLING...to the point that I need 4days of recovery time, which is just not cool...My cousin's wife said I need to just walk fast for a minimum of 30 minutes each day and build up from there...I know that walking is a great exercise, BUT, how do I walk fast enough to make it work for me? That is the question of the hour. So aside from walking around Manhattan, I did not do any other exercising this week. I told myself today that I was going to go to spin, but I didn't than I said I would go for a walk, but I didn't...Hey this blog is about honesty, and I am being honest..Did I mention that last Thursday I was rushing to get into the city to meet them and I ate breakfast toooooo fast and I had to pull over on the side of the NJ Turnpike and I vomited! I have NEVER vomited since getting the band and I was shocked as to how this could be happening. I saw my doctor on Friday and he said that I just need to refocus and remember to eat slow, use a fork and knife and put it down in between bites...I think i got off that pace before the fill because I didn't have to, but now post fill, I need to get back to that strategy, daily. Also the doctor did say that I am reaching every milestone and he is happy with my progress. I have to remember that I did get the band, the less invasive of the bariatric surgeries. Had I had the bypass, I would have reached my goal by now BUT I am happier know that my internal organs are in tact and I am doing well...I just need to be positive, know that I am loved and wanted by many people and really not just say it but BELIEVE it...