Here goes

So I have been absent for some time, but not because my diet has been off, I actually have been doing fine with the weight loss...I am actually going to hit my goal that I wanted to reach by Christmas...HOWEVER, my life is currently in COMPLETE DISARRAY, I have recently made the biggest mistake of my entire life, a mistake that unfortunately has had major repercussions in my personal life.  I am beyond devastated, I have gone from seriously contemplating taking pills and never waking up to somewhat being able to take my day and getting through it...I prefer not to go into specifics on this blog, but I am not in a good place...I am rethinking my entire life up to this point, analyzing my behavior and trying to figure out who I am and exactly what I stand for...Because truthfully, I have no clue at this point...I really feel prayer and God will be the ONLY thing that will help at this point...Just wanted to check in and let you all know that I, thankfully, am still working out and eating right...I am still committed to this journey but I am facing the BIGGEST CHALLENGE of my life and I am going to need all your support at this point...

And The Beat Goes On!

Before I go on with my weight issues, I just want to say how heart broken I am for all the people so affected by Hurricane Sandy, especially those in Staten Island.  I grew up in Staten Island, went to college there and although I now live in New Jersey it will always be my home and hold a very special place in my heart.  I am praying that God will strengthen all of them to persevere through this and to comfort the hearts and minds of everyone whose lives were literally devastated by death of family or total loss of property.  This too will pass and I know we will all come out stronger in the end if we just lean on God through this very difficult time.

So I weighed myself today and my streak CONTINUES!!! I lost 1.6 pounds (.73 Kg) this week.  That is 3 weeks of losses and I could not be happier.  My current weight is the lowest that I have ANY recollection of, ever! I am really excited that I feel like I am propelling myself to my final goals..I have always had great workouts but the only changes that have taken place in recent weeks is that I have added Boot Camp to work out.  Essentially is is a super high cardio/weight training class that is totally a KILLER!!! I thank God when I finish it every week...In addition to that I am really focusing on my protein intake.  The doctors had said that is super important because by focusing on the protein, my body will burn the fat literally off of my body and It appears that is exactly what is happening! Anyway I have 7 weeks until I see my family in Florida and I am confident that I will hit my goal of losing 20 pounds by then! Thanks for reading!

OH WHAT A DAY!!!

I weighed myself this morning and I LOST 2.6 pounds (1.18 kg)!!!!! I am SUPER excited because this means that the slight gain from last week, clearly caused by the RED MENACE is gone PLUS MORE!!!! I had a great week, I worked my ass off at the gym and I watched what I ate..I have lost weight pretty consistently this month and that makes me SOOO HAPPY!!! I want to lose 15 more pounds by my December Trip...That's the goal..I know it is going to be hard but I am sooo committed to seeing my goals achieved both short and long term! I have been doing this INSANE boot camp/military training class at the gym and to be perfectly honest my goal is SURVIVAL! The class is sooo tough that as long as I don't puke, I take that as a win! The interesting thing is that I can SEE my fitness level has DRAMATICALLY changed throughout the course of my transformation and that is exciting...Today is a big day in my family, my cousin is having her baby today...They have been trying for several years and have finally been blessed with a baby boy...Little Gabriel is coming today and I am soooo happy for them..Please join me in praying for a smooth and safe delivery of a HEALTHY baby! Ok well I am off to work, thansk for reading!

On a Roll!

So I weighed myself today and I LOST .7 lbs (.32 Kg) and I am actually please with this because its a loss and I had an AWESOME loss last week so i will take it! Oh and I might have had chocolate chip cookies for dinner last night! LOL

I have 11 more weeks until I see my family in Florida and I really want to be down another 20 pounds by then...So I really need to kick things into high gear here...This week was pretty uneventful but I wanted to be accountable to all of you and document this weeks weigh in...Thanks for reading!

THANK JESUS!!!

I really was not sure how I would feel this morning...I mean, my workouts were great this week and I even survived my first boot camp in 5 months...I had an awesome run this weekend that really pushed me to the next level but I have had great workout weeks in the past and we all know your food intake is more input..therefore i stepped on the scale as I PRAYED in every language I know..then I stare at the mirror and tell myself "Keli, no matter what, it will be OK, don't you DARE flip out and have sex with a Kit Kat Bar!!!" Then I coax myself to look down at the scale..Well, thankfully, my morning is starting out GREAT because I LOST 2.2 pounds (1 kg) this week! I want to lose 20 more pounds by the time I see my family in December...This is about 2 months away...So I have to get busy!!! Anyway, I am late for work, gotta go...thanks for reading! Oh and here is my plea for posts...Many of you have been SLACKING and not responding to me! You have no idea how much your words of encouragement really do help me press on, so hopefully I hear from all of you!

JUST KEEP SWIMMING...SWIMMING, SWIMMING!!!

There really is a lot to say about that great line from Finding Nemo "Just Keep Swimming, Swimmimg, Swimming!" There have been weeks that I felt that I should have expected a loss and then I either gained or stayed the same and my doctor would say, keep going, keep swimmimg, dont you dare give up!! Well let me tell you about this week, I did all the  same exercies and ate pretty much the same EXCEPT that on Saturday night, I earned a free dessert at Chili's with my Foursquare Check In...So I decided to jump into that! I ordered Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie! It was a heated Blonde brownie with walnuts, with a giant scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream, Chocolate sauce, caramel, whipped cream...essentially it was heaven on a plate, the only thing that could have made it better was a Kit Kat topping!!! Anyway, my intentions were to share it with Frank but he eats so damn slow that I ate probably 3/4 of it!!! Then like an IDIOT, after I ate it, I decided to check the calorie content...Boy was I surprised to see a whopping 1250 calories!!!! At that point I almost started to cry and I was fully anticipating a gain this week...SO that is why I was shocked to ALL HELL to see that I LOST 2.5 lbs (1.13 Kg)!!!!!!  I guess it was due to the fact that I just kept swimming!! I guess this is a result of all those weeks that I put the work in but didnt see the result and today I reaped it becuase I NEEDED IT!!!! Thanks for reading!!!

The Good and the Bad!

Well the good news is that I weighed myself and I LOST 1.6 lbs (.73 KG) this week.  The bad news is that it is the first day of school!!! My body is actually ACHING being up before 7am! This completely sucks! But on the bright side, I LOOK FABULOUS in my new non plus size dress! I have a feeling I will be getting a lot of attention today from co-workers who have not seen me in 3 months...Anyway,m I have to get going so this entry is purely for accountability purposes...thanks for reading!

Red Menace

Well I stepped on the scale today and was NOT SURPRISED to see yet another gain!! I have my period and I ALWAYS gain the week of my period.  I am pretty confident that this is not a true gain because I did not have a bad cheating week.  I actually had some positives this week that I would like to share.  I was able to go to Great Adventure and fit comfortably into the roller coaster that I was kicked off of 10 years ago for being to fat to ride! That was an amazing accomplishment! I also went school shopping and was able to do 90% of my purchases in NON PLUS SIZE STORES!!! I am feeling good and remain  committed to reach my goal, thanks for reading!

UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN!!!

I weighed myself today and I GAINED 2.2 pounds (1Kg)...My only explanation for this is that my body is trying to even itself out from last weeks 8lb (3.67 Kg) loss...I really had no issues this week related to food choices and I worked out 5 days this week, including going Kayaking for the day.  I was super excited to go Kayaking because I would NEVER had been able to fit into the kayak 2 years ago...Today I am on my way to Great Adventure for the first time in 10 years...10 years ago, I was kicked off one of the roller coasters because I was too big to ride and they could not get the harness to lock...So I am quite nervous, even though I have lost half of my body weight, I would be DEVASTATED if I still did not fit...Please send me your prayers and positive thoughts today...Until next time, thanks for reading...

HALLELUJAH!!!

SO I weighed myself today and I LOST, are you ready for it?? I LOST 8 POUNDS (3.67 Kg)!!!!!! SO I lost ALL of the weight I gained in recent horrible weeks PLUS a smidge more!!! Excuse me while I do the HAPPY Dance around my living room!!!!

OK, I'm back! SO how did I do this you ask? Well I actually did the same workouts, running, spin, and weight training but my eating radically changed. I did not eat out all week, except for like Subway and salad works... I started to incorporate the muscle milk again into my diet. m If you recall early on, the doctors had said it is ALL about protein.  Well I Incorporated 2 muscle milk light daily snacks for an additional 40 grams of daily protein.  In addition, I JOURNALED!!! Oh and all week I "reflected" and it is really funny how when you reflect after a gain, you suddenly remember all teh shit that you ate that you "forgot" to right down! One of my loyal blog readers said that she thought it was crazy that for the rest of my life, I would have to right down everything I eat..Well, I m thinking that every diet in America that requires journaling cant be wrong...because LOOK at these results!!!! I want to be DRASTICALLY smaller by December!! I'M ON MY WAY!!! Thanks for reading! I have not been hearing from some of you, I think you ALL should post a comment...dont you? LOL

Enlightenement!

I was SHOCKED beyond SHOCKED to get on the scale this morning and NOT SEE a loss! I really do not understand what the hell is going on with my body and then I had a MAJOR realization that hit me like a Mack Truck! That inner voice in my head reminded me that i Have not journaled in 3 weeks and guess what people? I have gained the last 3 weeks! The voice also told me that I have not really been focused on "good food" I have been eating, at times, shitty choices like boneless buffalo wings! Now I realize that an occasional "cheat" is good and helps with the cravings, but I really have not focused on my lean protein and fruits and vegetables since my vacation but I can assure you that this ENDS TODAY!!! I am BEYOND DONE with seeing this shit on the scale! i AM RECOMMITTED NOW, THIS STARTS AGAIN NOW!!! Thanks for reading and I am NOT A FAILURE!! (That declaration was for me!)

CANNOT CATCH A BREAK!!!

So I went to Colorado and being on vacation I did not really watch what I was eating and I did not exercise the way i normally do.  Therefore it was no surprise to me that LAST WEEK, I had a gain.  However, this week, I was back on track...Back to my running regimen and going to spin and lifting weights.  So what happens? I get my period! BUT I was CERTAIN, that even with my period, due to the fact that I was back on point, I would still have a loss...BOY WAS I WRONG!!! I GAINED AGAIN! I cant even express in words how I am feeling at this moment.  I went to the gynbecologist this week and she said she will give me the go ahead for pregnancy in 50 pounds. SO this BUMO in the journey is really PISSING ME OFF!!!

This week, I am writing down EVERYTHING that meets my lips and I will continue with my running regimen and usuaul workout routine, so I am HOPING that next week will be bbetter...thats all I have for now...Thanks for reading!

Beyond SPEECHLESS!

So this week was my wedding anniversary and Frank took me to dinner...I enjoyed the evening, not just because I was with my love but the food was amazing! I had a modest Italian meal, which I really did not finish and a had a piece of cake...a single piece of cake...I was nervous about stepping on the scale today because of the infamous cake but I kept saying to myself "it's just a piece of cake!" Well BOY WAS I WRONG!!! It was NOT just a piece of cake, it was my DEMISE, my COMPLETE DESTRUCTION!!! I weighed myself this week and I GAINED 4 pounds!!!! That's right 4 pounds!!! That means that I, a band patient, who can barely eat a complete meal ate in excess of 14,000 calories this week!!! Are you as surprised as I am? I have absolutely nothing to say, I am beyond devastated, this is a set back I was not expecting and am not prepared for....It just makes no sense to e...I worked out 6 days last week, I am running, spinning, doing weights, using the row machine...I mean really? I have nothing to say...I am beyond committed to this journey and even though I think it is completely IMPOSSIBLE for me to have eaten in excess of 14,000 calories, I do know that I have not been journaling my food...so with that, I started journaling today and hopefully, next week I see a positive, lower number on that dreaded scale! Thanks for reading!

This is really tough to take...

I weighed myself today and unfortunately I STAYED THE SAME...not an ounce lost...I did have my period this week but I worked out LIKE CRAZY, ran twice did 3 spin classes and weight trained twice!!!! So this is what just INFURIATES me, this last leg is just soooooooooooooo hard, BUT I REFUSE TO QUIT...No matter how much as I am typing this I am dying for a warm walnut brownie smothered in ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream and topped with two Kit Kat's coming off the top! LOL Can you tell I like my sweets? LOL

What is really strange is that I could not stop looking at myself in the mirror this week, I was totally doing double and triple takes and I was EXPECTING a loss this week, I really was...SO I am really bummed but I have no choice but to pick myself up and KEEP GOING, moving towards my goal because all of my hard work HAS TO PAY OFF eventually, IT HAS too! The body is sooo strange, like you can have a great loss on a week that you hardly did anything and vice versa...the human body is definitely an enigma...anyway, thanks for reading...

Another one bites the dust...

I weighed myself today and THANKFULLY, I lost another pound (.45 Kg).  What is interesting is that when I stepped on the scale, my initial reaction was DAMN IT, you know that feeling when you know that you did what you needed to do, and you are just praying to JESUS,  LORD make it a good week and then you do NOT see the 2 or 3 pound loss rather you see the 1 pound loss! Well I will take it, because it is going down, and I had my surgery this week and really have not worked out like I usually do, probably because I couldn't see, was advised not to get water/sweat into my eyes until the lens is taken out..therefore, I worked out last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and that was it...so in light of that, I will take the pound....I am on my way and I don't care how long it takes but I WILL GET THERE!!!

I am going to Orlando this December and will see some of my Venezuelan family that I have not seen since summer of 2011...I want to be at 200 lbs or under!!! This is a doable goal and that is what I want...I was talking to a friend via text about how I am off all summer and I really should be in the gym 6 hours a day and I was like I have NO MOTIVATION for that task! So she said, why not work out twice per day, morning and night and even that seems nuts to me, but perhaps that is what needs to be done, I'm not sure,....but I will definitely keep you all posted on what I decide! Thanks for reading!

Every Ounce Counts!

I weighed myself today and I lost .8 lbs (.36 kg).  AT first glance I was a definitely a little annoyed but you know I have no right to be! I had a good week I finished my THIRD run on the 5K running app, I went to spin, did my weights...and my diet was good...Therefore, I CHOOSE to look at this as another drop in my bucket that will at some point OVER FLOW with all of the effort I have put into this journey since the beginning...

So the running is a HUGE victory for me, I have to say, RUNNING IS HARD! Holy crap! I am really feeling it..what is interesting is that when I was heavier I felt the STRAIN on my body but now I feel it cardiovascularly...Does that mak sense? Not that I am not hurting in my body but it is different, the hardest part is breathing! LOL As I am running, I am reciting, I CAN DO THIS!!!

I went to visit a plastic surgeon thsi week just to inquire about future skin removal.  He said he would like me to lose 75 more pounds, which was expected, but one thing he SHOCKED me about was that he dos not recommend the upper thigh area to be removed..He said the outcomes would not be that good becuase of teh delicacy of the area....that was disappointing..oh and he also said it costs $25,000 just for the tummy and arm area! I would have to pay that amount up front and then see if my insurance coveres any of it, which if they did would not be anywhere CLOSE to that amount! The option to have this done in Venezuela is still an option but that is just scary to me, regardless of teh fact that ,my uncle is a doctor and would hook me up with someone good...not sure how I feel at this point but those surgeries are a while a way..got to get this 75 off!!!!!! Anyway thanks for reading

I'm Back Baby!

Well it has certainly been a while! I have been going through a lot and all though I have not bloged since the wedding, I have been checking my weight weekly.  So I am down 4 pounds since the last time I "blogged." I have been experiencing a great amount of work related stress which has spilled over in every area of my life.  I have also been experiencing a great deal of "mood swings." Frank is convinced it is a hormonal imbalnace that has only gotten worse since my ovary removal...I had an appointment with my ob/gyn today but had to cancel to take my car to be fixed.  Now I cant get in until the end of July..hopefully there will be a cancellation...

HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: On Sunday, I started my first workout in the "couch to 5K" program...I have to say I DID IT!!! I was SUPER IMPRESSED with myself...I ran 6 different interavls of 1 minute of continuous running followed by walking...My legs are still soar today...It is AMAZING to me that I can do 3 spin classes a week, use the row machine, elliptical, lift weights etc and feel like I am in fairly decent fitness health for someone my size BUT the running KILLS! It is sooo intense...Looking forward to earning my next comletion badge..I will keep you all posted..Thansk for reading!

Here comes the sun!

Well this weekend, I had the privilege of attending the wedding of two friends of mine from church. It was a lovely day and it was also my official debut! I was able to wear a dress that was NOT a plus size!!! I have not worn a dress this size in at least 15 years...It was one of the most thrilling times of this journey thus far..Getting dressed and looking in the mirror and seeing my new, thinner reflection made me tear up inside and out! I was also able to wear high heels without feeling like my legs were going to cave in underneath me...I got soooo many compliments and some even said that I outshined the bride! I enjoyed myself at the wedding but I did not go overboard in what I ate. Now, I decided to blog today but I DID NOT weigh in, because I am on such a euphoric high that I did not want anything to upset me! The wedding was just two days ago and it is possible that the food that I did eat registered negatively on the scale today...So I opted out! I hope you all understand! Thanks for reading!!!

MOTHER F%%&&##$@^!

I really am annoyed! I had a sinus infection and missed every workout that I usually do so what did I do? I decided to be extra careful with my diet and what rewards me today? A BIG FAT GAIN!!! I gained 2 pounds (almost 1kg) what the hell????? I mean really people, I seem to not be able to win here! I have another 50 pounds to my next goal and I am just going up and down here! I thought I had a break through two weeks abo when I lost the 4+ but my body likes to "even out" and give me back 2...I AM JUST BEYOND FRUSTRATED!!! Some say, the antibiotics could play a role in the gain, I am on them until this thursday..who knows, all I know is I did what I had to do and that I am sure of!!! I need this to work, I really have no other options here...I NEED THIS TO WORK!!! COME ON BODY, STOP RESISTING MY EFFORTS!!!!!

ELATED....BUT...

I weighed myself this week and i LOST 4.2 pounds (1.91 KG)...I really am super stoked but I had a few revelations this week that I wanted to share...Frank has been talking to me about my over all negativity..This is something that I have always known was an issue forme, but I used to joke it off as part of my jewish heriatge, you know becuase the Jews are known for complaining and whining...Well I think that was my cop out excuse...I wish I knew why I lean to the negative..I hate that I do..I have tons to be thankful for and I can see that it is taxing on people...It is no secret that people are drawn to those who are positive and uplifting...so maybe that is why I have always struggled with making and keeping friends? Who knows, all I know is that I have tons to be thankful for in my life and I need to start being positive..Now being that I am a Christian, it is more than just "being positive" because the Lord is in my life, I should be expressing happiness and joy all the time, so the issue is my heart...I think I have been sooo deeply wounded from a young age that I am stuck in this muck..but Frank constantly reminds me that I dont have to be...Frank says to just let my healing begin, be vulnerable to God and to others...See myself as he and God see me, and express my gratitude...so this is where I am at, lots of thinking this week...I titled my blog "elated, but," becuase I am out of the gym for a few days becuase of a sinus infection and I took off of work today and have been feeling really terrible...not sure when I can resume my normal work out routine...SO as you can see the "but" came from my negative thoughts about having an awesome week this week, but it will all go to hell this week becuase I cant exercise! DO you all see my problem? its a vicious cycle really!..LORD HELP ME!

Happier!

I went shopping this weekend and I bought a BEAUTIFUL dress for a friends wedding at the end of the month. It was a size 14/16 and my wedding dress was a 26/28! It was such an awesome day that I was actually shaking when I saw the reflection staring back at me! I called everyone I knew to share the news! It was a great day, I weighed myself yesterday and I LOST 1.6 pounds which I was pleased with...I did not blog yesterday becuase I was just sooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired from work and craziness...But I am blogging now, so there you have it...

BEYOND PISSED

So I weighed myself today and surprise surprise, I GAINED WEIGHT AGAIN!!! WHAT THE HELL??? It took every ounce of me NOT to have a Menage a Trois with me, Snickers and Twix!!! I'm serious, I was "this close" (holding thumb and pointer finger very close together)from Frank walking in from work and finding me in a corner crying surrounded by a dozen wrappers! I really have NOTHINg to say, if I would have cheated, I would not be sooo upset, so I am not sure if this is hormonal or just "part of the journey." All I can do is dust myself off and keep going, so that is what I am going to do, I am npw 11 pounds away from my next major mnilestone and I justw ant to get there, I need to make some adjustments this week...thanks for reading

Sort of Pissed!

I weighed myself today and I GAINED 1.5 pounds (.68 Kg). I had my period and I also went to a bridal shower, where I ate some delicious items that probably were not the best choice for a a dieting person. However, I worked out 6 times this week! I mean really people, what does a girl have to do??? I guess this week is back to the basics, journaling, protein, and just being diligent about what I am responsible for....BIG SIGH, because I am 4 pounds away from my next goal and I would like to be at this goal by the wedding I have to go to at the end of May...Anyway, I am pretty disappointed and utterly pissed at myself...Let's hope I have better things to declare next week, thanks fo reading!

What a BUMMER!!!

So I weighed myself and I GAINED 1.6 pounds (.73 Kg). Now although I am definitely BUMMED, I have to take this in stride because last week I had a HUGE loss of 5 pounds (2.27 KG) so I still have a net loss of 3.4 pounds (1.54 Kg). I did not cheat at all and I even counted the few french fries I ate while I was out! And the ONLY sex I had this week was with my husband not with a KIT-KAT or REESE'S!!! LOL Some MAJOR highlights for this week include, get ready...wait for it..OK you twisted my arm: I DID 2 PUSH-UPS NOT ON MY KNEES!!!!! Now this is BEYOND HUGE for me because I never could do this before and I owe it ALL to BOB HARPER!!! His 66 minute Strength Training DVD is INSANE and it comes with two workouts on it, a 20 minute and a 66 minute minute work-out. When I got the DVD last year, I could barely make it through the 20 minute workout and I needed three days rest before I could do it again! Then I worked up to doing the 66 minute workout once per week and now I am up to doing the 66 minute workout once per week in addition to the 20 minute workout 3 times per week. Oh and I also do 3 kick ass spin classes weekly!!! So I am DEFINITELY getting STRONGER!!! My next work out goal is to do the 66 minute workout twice weekly..I will keep you posted! I have a wedding on May 27th and I reeally would like to wear a dress, let me tell you I'M PETRIFIED of a dress...I think if my arms were smaller I wouldnt be but unfortunatly they are not :( Does anyone have any suggestions for teh type of dress I should get?? Feel free to e-mail pics if you have anything in mind! LOL Anyway, that's what's up! Thanks for reading!

AWESOME!

I weighed myself today and I lost 5 pounds (2.27 KG) for a total of 117 pounds (53.07 KG). I am off this week...I have been trying to go back to the basics of protein, and stopping when I am full, the moment I am full...I see the doctor on Friday for my yearly check-up, I cannot believe it has been two years since my surgery...I would say I am a different person! This Saturday, Todd is playing a concert at Ollie's Point, he is opening for Ryan Cabrera and if you have a minute to watch this clip, you will hear my dad on WFAN plugging Todd's band! Soooo funny, here it is:http://youtu.be/F3_z-w31-94

Well, it was expected!

So I weighed myself today and I GAINED! I was kind of expecting it because I had a meltdown after last weeks weigh in, because last week I had a PERFECT week and gained a pound so what did I do? I ate 5 ooey gooey DELICIOUS chocolate chip cookies! Then I ate some bunny food which is this decadent chocolate treat from Gertrude Hawk...THEN I had a Hershey bar, Twix and a Reese's! As you can see, I WAS PISSED! In my head I was thinking if the scale is going to show a gain there better be a REASON for the gain! SO by the time I snapped out of it, it was kind of too late to save this weeks weigh in! So I was not surprised when I saw the pound gain yesterday..but now it is TOTALLY out of my system and I am back on track and hopefully next Tuesday is a success for me..Thanks for reading!

Sooooo DISAPPOINTED!!!

I AM FURIOUS!!!! I worked out every day this week, diet was great and what happens?? I GAINED A POUND!!!!!!! Soooooooo upset! Granted, I have my period, but still!!!! This is really interfering with my plans! I am really speechless and what does this one Pound gain inspire me to do? You guess it, I ATE 3 chocolate chip cookies!!! Now I am even more pissed at myself! I did go to the gym and did an hour class that hopefully will help and I plan on going 4 more days this week, so we shall see what happens next week...I really cant express in words how pissed I am at this point! thanks for reading....

It's Moving!

I weighed myself today and I LOST 1.2 pounds (.54kg) for a total of 113.6 LBS (51.53 kg. I new I had lost weight this week because I was SUPER Determined this week..I ate what I was supposed to and did not eat any "extra" because I worked out like a beast. At times, when i calculate all the calories burned during my workouts, I have been known to use a few of those calories for extra food! I know this is not technically "wrong" but this week I cut that out entirely! So I was a little annoyed that I only lost 1.2 because i was hoping and praying to reach that 115 pound mark this week, but I am now over it because the scale is definitely moving in the write direction! In addition to my usual workout schedule I have added a DAILY 5 MINUTE workout that I saw on Dr. Oz, which includes a 1 minute interval of 5 exercises like push-ups, dips, crunches, squats etc...

I went shopping this week and I am not going to lie it feels amazing to be able to shop in the sizes I am in now, BUT I really wanted to be further a long in my journey by this summer...HOWEVER, although my mind tends to dwell on the negative, I AM CHOOSING to focus on the positive because I could make my self sick, and have, when I just focus on how I'm not there yet! I have not been this small in more than a DECADE and I am relishing on that! I am aiming to do that 5K in September and I am loving my life right now because I have WORKED MY ASS OFF,LITERALLY! I WILL ACHIEVE MY WEIGHT LOSS DREAMS! Thanks for reading!

Here ya go!

I weighed myself today and I lost .8 lbs (.36 kg) for a total of 112.4 lbs (51 Kg). So I am not super thrilled that I lost this little bit of weight this week, but I am happy that the scale is moving in the right direction. I have parent-teacher conferences this week so I am unsure of how many gym nights I will have but I plan on going for some walks and doing my exercise dvd's when I cant get to the gym. I have 4 more weigh-ins before I see my doctor for my yearly follow-up and I would like to be THINNER!!!! I went shopping this week and everything is gettimg smaller...I am still trying to stay focused on the prize, even when I have slow weeks like this! Thanks for reading...

sorry sooo late!

I lost 2 pounds...total weight loss 111.6..

I have had a bad week! Not so much with my eating, I actually anticipated a really nice loss becuase last week was filled with good choices, but work was sooooo stressful that I did not sleep at all or really eat much on Monday 3/7, Tuesday 3/8 and Wednesday 3/9! So I was gaunt in color, shaking, headache, i could feel my blood sugar crashed and I was just really in a depressed mood..If I could explain it I would explain it! I have to see my weight loss doctor in April and I really wanted to be much lighter! I feel like I have been struggling a lot lately! I want that 1 in front of my weight!!! I am looking at my body still cannot wear a sleeveless shirt, not sure if I ever will be able to until I have some sort of skin removal surgery...quite annoying...I also really want to run a portion of this 5k race on September 1 and my feet are just screaming! Although c25K says I could train starting June 1, I was thinking maybe I could start earlier, but not sure it will work...

BEYOND BAFFLED

SO I weighed myself today and I STAYED THE SAME..THE SCALE DID NOT MOVE AN OUNCE!!!! GRRRRRRRRR, sooooooooooooooooo annnoyed! I worked out really hard this week, and I counted my calories, and I do not get it! The surgery was supposed to help with this and I feel like as successful as I have been, it' not working anymore!!! Doctor said it will come off and that I just need to be extra vigilant and mindful of my every food related move....I just am really pissed off, but I guess I should be GRATEFUL that the scale is not moving upward! God, I really hope next week is better, the weeks are dwindling down and I want to run a portion of that 5K on September 1! I also want to be baby ready by the end of 2012 and I have 65 more pounds to go...Please offer your best advise if you have any! Thanks for reading!

Valentine's Week Results

Before I get into the heart of this post, I just wanted to let you all know that I am probably going to be posting later than normal from this point on. It is really difficult to collect my thoughts before work also known at the "butt crack of dawn!!"
I weighed myself this week and I am unsure how to take it, I STAYED THE SAME!!! I am still down 109 pounds (49.44 Kilos). It was Valentine's week and I felt like I handled things responsibly. Frank had gotten me an edible arrangments bouquet with a few chocolate covered strawberries mixed in. I ate about 5, but I counted every single one! They are 50 calories each, in case you wanted to know, lol. On Saturday, Frank took me out for our Valentine's dinner and I definitely enjoyed myself...Braised short Ribs are DELICIOUS and I had some gelato and a few tastes of Frank;s chocolate torte...Now I counted every single calorie that was consumed so on one hand I am disappointed that I stayed teh same but on the hand I am happy becuase I had two events that were not part of my typical week. This is how I am trying to think about it...it was Valentine's Day and I think I would have been depressed if for my Valentines dinner I had grilled chicken and a boring salad! So I guess I am living my life and I do not apologize for it becuase I counted everything, I did not gorge and I stayed the same...onto the next one I say! Thanks for reading!

I'M BACK BABY!

Well I am really really late for work right now but since I did not blog last week, I wanted to make sure that I made an entry today. I weighed myself today and I LOST 1.5 lbs (.68 KG) for a total of 109 lbs. If you recall, I had gained a pound during the beacon cheeseburger debacle but now I am lower than that week and almost to my lowest of 2012. I am also really excited because I had hit the bump in the road due to inactivity caused by a sprained knee. Last night I returned to spin class and I KICKED IT!!! LOL, so I know this is the start of a great month. Today is Valentine's Day and my husband surprised me with an Edible Arrangements fruit basket with a FEW chocolate covered strawberries mixed into the bouquet. Good choice I say, since I usually down an entire box of chocolates....so this is good. Several confirmations as today: I MUST JOURNAL my food, band or no band, it is IMPOSSIBLE to really know how much we eat without having an honest record of what we consume. I thought with the band I would be able to bypass this CHORE, but I am not so lucky. Also, I know I called this a journey before but I did not understand what that meant until now. Every step is a MILESTONE in the direction of my journey, the choice is mine with every single bite, I CHOOSE LIFE and the direction that I will be headed is me LOOKING FABULOUS!!!! Thanks for reading!

So THIS is what happens!!!

I weighed myself today and I gained a pound :( I am assuming that the bacon, cheddar cheeseburger and crispy fries that I ate contributed to this one! I had a huge moment of weakness. I got STARVING and when I get my self to that point, I make AWFUL decisions, so lesson learned, I need to equalize my bloog sugar and make sure there is something in my stomach. I hadn't eaten in 9 hours and then just made a lousy decision. Mind you it was ORGASMIC-LY DELICIOUS, but nonetheless not a good choice! My knee is doing a lot better and I am going to attempt to return to Spin class this coming Monday and hopefully Tuesday this pound will come off! I think it will! Thanks for reading!

I'm in TROUBLE!!!

I weighed myself today and thankfully stayed the same, HOWEVER, I SPRAINED MY KNEE!! I tripped over my very baggy pants and twisted it! I am not allowed to exercise beyond hand weights on the couch for at least two weeks! So I am definitely concerned because this means that I have to be PERFECT in order to stay the same or dare I say have a loss for the next two weeks!!! SOOOOOOO annoying! I am off of work today so I am just chilling in my jammies! Anyway, not much else to say today...Send your prayers my way so that this injury does not completely derail my progress!

FINALLY!!!!

I weighed myself today and HALLELUJIAH...I LOST 1.6 pounds (.73 kg) for a total of 105.8 lbs (47.99 kg). I am BACK ON TRACK, THANK GOD!!! Well I have come to teh concluion that I have to watch EVERY morself that touches my lips...as unfortunate as this may sound, I am glad that I now know CRYSTAL CLEAR what the recipe is for my weight loss! I worked out 4 days this week, including one INSANE boot camp class. So all in all it was a good week. I have two social events this week and I WILL BE DAMNED if I put om even an ounce next tuesday! I will get throiugh this valley and come out VICTORIUOUS next week becuase no amount of yummy goodness is as DELICIOUS as getting on the scale on Tuesday morning and seeing that scale GO DOWN!!! Well thanks for reading, off to work!

I think I have hit my wall!

So let's start off by being HONEST. Since December 1, 2011 I have been completely FOOLING myself. I have not been journaling and focusing on protein, I have been GIVING in to EVERY FOOD CRAVING that comes up. I have NOT been disciplined and although I have been trying to "MAKE IT UP" with extra workouts, this NEVER works, Today included! When I stepped on the scale this morning and so yet another gain, I began to cry and I told myself, it ends today. The free pass that i though I had earned for all my hard work, HAS EXPIRED! I am DONE, DONE WITH THE EXCUSES, DONE WITH trying to work the "game." So I had a 1.8 gain this week and although HORRIFIC, I needed it. I needed it to WAKE MY FUCKING ASS UP!!!! MESSAGE RECEIVED folks: I cannot deviate from the "weight loss prescription" that I KNOW WORKS! The holidays are over and I am SICK TO MY STOMACH of getting on the scale and before I look down, saying a prayer that its not awful, because I know that what I did for the week did not contribute to a true loss! Well it finally happened the little "detour" I took since December 1 is OVER...THIS IS MY GUARANTEE to ALL of you, MESSAGE RECEIVED! Here's to a new day and the determination to rach the new me, thanks for reading and sending me nice, encouraging comments!

So this is what happens???!!!

So I had a feeling after last week's 6.6 pound loss that this week would be a week of my body trying to equalize itself. HOWEVER, I was NOT expecting this! I weighed myself and GAINED 5.6 POUNDS (2.54 KG) AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I have lost a total of 106 pounds (48.08 KG). I am definitely a bit surprised, I was expecting a 2-3 pound (1KG) gain to try and balance the huge loss that I had last week, but I guess that is just not meant to be :(

I choose to look at the positives, I am lighter today than I was in the last 3 weeks, so although I would have liked to have been in the "black" and have a net loss that puts me lower than the week that I had that series of gains, it just isn't what happened! This week as the last week of the holiday season, and I was not as strict as I could have been, indulging in some food choices that are typically off my menu, so that also had something to do with it!

Some positives: I was able to do Lauren's Boot Camp class thsi week whoich was TORTOUROUS but I finished it! I worked myself soooo had that teh instructor actually stayed with me for 15 minutes after class was over, poutting an ice pack on my face and neck to try and get my core temperature stabalized! I have NEVER worked out that hard before in my life, and it really felt great! I plan on alternating with spin every other Moday night to attend that class. Oh and I am 50 pounds lighter (22.69 KG) this time than last year on Jan 4, 2011, I would say that is something worth cheering about! Hey I am happy in spite of this week's weigh in and I KNOW that teh scale will refelct my efforts next week!

OK so here is what I am challenging myself to do in 2012: My church does an annual 5K walk for Africa to help them dig water wells. The last time I participated, I walked the entire thing and I finished dead last. It took me soooo long that I actually finished as the takedown team was removing the "finish line!" The race is September 1, 2012 and I would like to run half if not all of it! That is my personal throw down challenge, would anyone like to join me? At least agree to come meet me at the finish line to cheer me on!!!! I have been researching and it says it takes 1 month to train yourself to run one mile and 2 months beyond that to train yourself for a 5K, so I would need to start training by June 1, 2012. So the goal is to get off as much weight as possible by June 1, 2012! I am not sure how much weight I would have to get off to handle the impact on my knees and feet of a 5k race, but hey I am willing to find out!

I read this yesterday: Losing weight is a linear journey, the only thing you can do is commit to taking the steps in the right direction. Here is to 2012 and to reaching my weight loss goals. Thanks for reading!